the billy who has nine toes

This is actually a true story recounted to me by my friend Bill who lives in Victoria, B.C. of an incident when his daughter closed her door to end a disagreement.

I wrote a limerick for him as well:

A sorry old man from Victoria
picked a fight with a door and got sorrier
when it slammed itself tight
took a toe with a bite
and said "watch out or next time I'll take more of ya"

Listen here

the Billy who has nine toes
had once as many as we
when they said some day you may lose one
he replied fish fiddle dee dee
Bill was in the middle of an awful squabble
the day that he became partly Pobble
when the door got slammed little toe got jammed
cut off cleaner than a pearl in a clam

Billy did the nine toed jig
and he looked around for the little lost pig
he discovered a shock in the end of his sock
there was the solitary little piggy wiggy
so he took it to the hospital
to get back together with it if it was possible
the doctor said no but we can make a toe dummy
if we dig a little hole take a roll from your tummy

Billy said no no no
think I'd rather go without that toe
don't want a tummy ache in a little dummy pig
think I'd rather learn a nine toed jig!
the Billy who has nine toes
had once as many as we
it takes a balanced soul to lose one
and still jig fiddle dee dee


all lyrics/music copyright 2003 randy sutherland
from the CD 'the sky starts at your feet'