profile in a flash: I was born at the bottom of a lake, when I was in my teens...

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born at the bottom

I was born at the bottom of a lake
when I was in my teens
I was a terrible hardship on momma
I was a fright for the poor sardines

my dad took me home in a shoebox
that he kept under lock and key
brought it out Sunday morning
and made my sister polish me

o sister don't rub so hard so hard
don't rub so hard on me
I ain't a magic lamp or a filthy tramp
don't you rub so hard on me

now of course my momma wasn't all that bad
and she took me out for walks
she was considerate enough to cut four holes
and tie a string through the old shoebox

I had a cellophane window for my eyes
and two funnels stuck in my ears
and Sparky and Duke rode up on top
and made out like they were engineers

now momma don't pull so hard so hard
don't pull so hard on me
you slipped that string right through my nose
when you tied that thing to me

when I got bigger they let me out
to sleep in the orange crate
well it beat the socks off a smelly box
but on the other hand it wasn't that great

cause everyone throws their orange peels
and seeds into my bed
and when I get up each morning
I pull sprouts right outta my head

oh people don't dump so hard so hard
don't dump so hard on me
hey it's tough enough without all your stuff
don't you dump so hard on me

now momma don't pull so hard so hard
don't pull so hard on me
you slipped that string right through my nose
when you tied that thing to me

o sister don't rub so hard so hard
don't rub so hard on me
I ain't a magic lamp or a filthy tramp
don't you rub so hard on me

I was born at the bottom of a lake
when I was in my teens
I was a terrible hardship on momma
I was a fright for the poor sardines

and the tuna too...

all music/lyrics copyright 2003 randy sutherland